I couldn't thank God enough!
I've been hesitant to share this event, but I almost died on November 9th. I think I had been trying to down play it - especially to my kids, but the absolute truth of the matter is that I could be dead and gone.
On Sunday, Nov. 8, I had been out of breath and having pains in my chest all day. It continued throughout the night and I didn't get much sleep. I just decided that I would call my doctor in the morning when I got to work. So I got up, got dressed and went on into work. As I usually do on Monday mornings, I stopped by the Fire Academy to talk to Lt. Stallings and Lt. Davis - both of whom are paramedics as well as instructors at the fire academy. I just happened to mention to them my "little problem" and Yolanda (Stallings) immediately took out her bood pressure equipment and took my pressure. It turned out to be 220/168. She told Lt. Forrest to call 911 and I said "No - for what. Take the other arm that must be wrong." So, she took other arm and it was about the same. But I HATE hospitals and was refusing to go. Yoland just put me on oxygen and the next thing I knew the ambulance was there. Ok - so I agreed to go the hospital as long as they didn't take my to Einstein or Temple. So they took me to Roxborough.
On the way, I rec'd two shots of nitroglycerin under my tongue and two baby aspirin. Blood pressure stayed elevated.
Alroght - to make a long story shore - the Dr. at Roxborough took 2 EKGs and told me that "your heart is trying to go into cardiac arrest, but it wont." She looked kinda baffled as I recall. I know i was baffled - and still refused to see the seriousness of the situation and wanted to know how long before I would be released. She kindly let me know that I wasn't going to be released - I was being transferred to Hanemann Hospital where they would check for clotting and blockage - of whicH THERE WAS NONE!
So, I got my Christmas miracle early this year - just in time for Thanksgiving. It wasn't even until after Thanksgiving that I really sat down and thought about what had happened to me...I was still in denial. But there is no doubt that logically speaking, I should be dead...but I'm not.
I guess my work here isn't finished yet.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Remembering my earthly father.
Roland James Hayes was his name and boy am I glad that I got a chance to spend time talking with my dad before he passed away. I had wasted so much time being angry with him (and everybody else) that I hadn't really talked with him since my mother's death. All I wanted to remember was that he was abusive to my mother and that I had witnessed that abuse from an early age. I forgot all about how he never abused or me. I never considered the events that occurred in his life or how he handled them. I never considered that no one is perfect. So, even though our best conversations took place during the last month of his life here on earth, I just thank God for opening my heart and my mind to where I was ready to communicate with him.
You know the most amazing part is that he wasn't my biological father, but he was the only dad I'd ever known. He never mentioned to me that he wasn't my biological father and never acted like he wasn't. But when my mother told me when I was 12 yrs old that he wasn't my real father, something in me changed. I often wonder why she ever told me or why she didn't tell me sooner.
Anyway...
I loved my dad. He taught me an appreciation for the finer things in life. He is the one who taught me my gemstones. He would give me things like sterling silver earrings and bangles, ruby stud earrings (probably not real, but hey who knows) a black onyx ring with diamonds down the center for my 16th birthday.
He taught me how to ride a bike, an appreciation for music and art and he taught me how to be a lady. I ran into my old next door neighbor a few months ago and we laughed as he reminded me how I couldn't come off my steps until I was 14! lolol. And I couldn't even sit on nobody else's steps either. My friends loved coming over my house. When he was there he would always cook us up something - fry us some shrimp or chicken and salad. We always had salad no matter what he cooked.
The last time I called my dad, he was eating (thru a tube) and told me to call him back. I never called him back. I wanted to ask him if he remembered the time he taught me how to swim...
I was about 6 yrs old and we were at "family swim" at Awbury. My dad could swim really well and he would swim around the 9 feet with me on his back. So, after swimming with me on his back for some time, he decided that I could swim in the 9 feet all by myself. So, as we stood on the deck of the 9 feet, he said to me "Now I'm gonna throw you in the 9 feet and I want you to swim over to the 3 feet." I looked at him like he was crazy as I shook my head no and said "no". He said "yes". I said "I can't". He said "Yes you can" I said "no I can't". Next thing I knew he had picked me up and threw me in the 9 feet! So, I swam for my life. Under water, above water, doggy paddled, dodging all the other people who were in the pool. No one knew that I was swimming for my life except for me. So when I finally got to the three feet where I could stand up with my head above water, I turned to the deck to tell my dad I had made it. But guess what? Yup, he was standing right there beside me and had been right beside me the whole time! Did I really think he would throw me in and leave me all alone? lol.
I wanted to remember that with him. And I wanted to tell him that he had taught me a very important lesson...probably the most valuable lesson of all. I wanted to tell him that during the time I had ostracized myself from everyone and I was all alone trying to deal with all the obstacles that life had thrown me at one time, when I finally looked up I realized the God had been there through it all. He had never left me. And when he wasn't walking beside me, he was carrying me...Just like "Footprints in the Sand" says.
I never got a chance to share that with my dad. That would have been the first time that we'd ever talked about God. I wasn't really sure whether or not he believed in God or not and I wanted to share something with him that he could relate to.
I am most thankful to the pastor who assured me that my father accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior before he died. That was the most important thing to me and was comforted with that knowledge. Like the pastor said, "Roland Hayes may have been a great barber, a great tailor, a womanizer, alcoholic - but in the end the greatest thing he did was accept Jesus as his Saviour. And just like the thief on the cross, Jesus accepted him.
You know the most amazing part is that he wasn't my biological father, but he was the only dad I'd ever known. He never mentioned to me that he wasn't my biological father and never acted like he wasn't. But when my mother told me when I was 12 yrs old that he wasn't my real father, something in me changed. I often wonder why she ever told me or why she didn't tell me sooner.
Anyway...
I loved my dad. He taught me an appreciation for the finer things in life. He is the one who taught me my gemstones. He would give me things like sterling silver earrings and bangles, ruby stud earrings (probably not real, but hey who knows) a black onyx ring with diamonds down the center for my 16th birthday.
He taught me how to ride a bike, an appreciation for music and art and he taught me how to be a lady. I ran into my old next door neighbor a few months ago and we laughed as he reminded me how I couldn't come off my steps until I was 14! lolol. And I couldn't even sit on nobody else's steps either. My friends loved coming over my house. When he was there he would always cook us up something - fry us some shrimp or chicken and salad. We always had salad no matter what he cooked.
The last time I called my dad, he was eating (thru a tube) and told me to call him back. I never called him back. I wanted to ask him if he remembered the time he taught me how to swim...
I was about 6 yrs old and we were at "family swim" at Awbury. My dad could swim really well and he would swim around the 9 feet with me on his back. So, after swimming with me on his back for some time, he decided that I could swim in the 9 feet all by myself. So, as we stood on the deck of the 9 feet, he said to me "Now I'm gonna throw you in the 9 feet and I want you to swim over to the 3 feet." I looked at him like he was crazy as I shook my head no and said "no". He said "yes". I said "I can't". He said "Yes you can" I said "no I can't". Next thing I knew he had picked me up and threw me in the 9 feet! So, I swam for my life. Under water, above water, doggy paddled, dodging all the other people who were in the pool. No one knew that I was swimming for my life except for me. So when I finally got to the three feet where I could stand up with my head above water, I turned to the deck to tell my dad I had made it. But guess what? Yup, he was standing right there beside me and had been right beside me the whole time! Did I really think he would throw me in and leave me all alone? lol.
I wanted to remember that with him. And I wanted to tell him that he had taught me a very important lesson...probably the most valuable lesson of all. I wanted to tell him that during the time I had ostracized myself from everyone and I was all alone trying to deal with all the obstacles that life had thrown me at one time, when I finally looked up I realized the God had been there through it all. He had never left me. And when he wasn't walking beside me, he was carrying me...Just like "Footprints in the Sand" says.
I never got a chance to share that with my dad. That would have been the first time that we'd ever talked about God. I wasn't really sure whether or not he believed in God or not and I wanted to share something with him that he could relate to.
I am most thankful to the pastor who assured me that my father accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior before he died. That was the most important thing to me and was comforted with that knowledge. Like the pastor said, "Roland Hayes may have been a great barber, a great tailor, a womanizer, alcoholic - but in the end the greatest thing he did was accept Jesus as his Saviour. And just like the thief on the cross, Jesus accepted him.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Remembering my earthly father
Boy am I glad that I got a chance to spend time talking with my dad before he passed away. I had wasted so much time being angry with him (and everybody else) that I hadn't really talked with him since my mother's death. All I wanted to remember was that he was an alcoholic who physically abused my mother and that I had witnessed that abuse from an early age. I forgot all about how he never abused or neglected me. I never considered the events that occurred in his life or how he handled them. So, even though our best conversations took place during the last month of his life here on earth, I just thank God for opening my heart and my mind to where I was ready to communicate with him.
You know the most amazing part is that he wasn't my biological father, but he was the only dad I'd ever known. He never mentioned to me that he wasn't my biological father and never acted like he wasn't. But when my mother told me when I was 12 yrs old that he wasn't my real father, something in me changed. I often wonder why she ever told me or why she didn't tell me sooner.
Anyway...
I loved my dad. He taught me an appreciation for the finer things in life. He is the one who taught me my gemstones. He would give me things like sterling silver earrings and bangles, ruby stud earrings (probably not real, but hey who knows) a black onyx ring with diamonds down the center for my 16th birthday.
He taught me how to ride a bike, an appreciation for music and art and he taught me how to be a lady. I ran into my old next door neighbor a few months ago and we laughed as he reminded me how I couldn't come off my steps until I was 14! lolol. And I couldn't even sit on nobody else's steps either.
The last time I called my dad, he was eating (thru a tube) and told me to call him back. I never called him back. I wanted to ask him if he remembered the time he taught me how to swim...
I was about 6 yrs old and we were at "family swim" at Awbury. My dad could swim really well and he would swim around the 9 feet with me on his back. So, after swimming with me on his back for some time, he decided that I could swim in the 9 feet all by myself. So, as we stood on the deck of the 9 feet, he said to me "Now I'm gonna throw you in the 9 feet and I want you to swim over to the 3 feet." I looked at him like he was crazy as I shook my head no and said "no". He said "yes". I said "I can't". He said "Yes you can" I said "no I can't". Next thing I knew he had picked me up and threw me in the 9 feet! So, I swam for my life. Under water, above water, doggy paddled, dodging all the other people who were in the pool. No one knew that I was swimming for my life except for me. So when I finally got to the three feet where I could stand up with my head above water, I turned to the deck to tell my dad I had made it. But guess what? Yup, he was standing right there beside me and had been right beside me the whole time! Did I really think he would throw me in and leave me all alone? lol.
I wanted to remember that with him. And I wanted to tell him that he had taught me a very important lesson...probably the most valuable lesson of all. I wanted to tell him that during the time I had ostracized myself from everyone and I was all alone trying to deal with all the obstacles that life had thrown me at one time, when I finally looked up I realized the God had been there through it all. He had never left me. And when he wasn't walking beside me, he was carrying me...Just like "Footprints in the Sand" says.
I never got a chance to share that with my dad. That would have been the first time that we'd ever talked about God. I wasn't really sure whether or not he believed in God or not and I wanted to share something with him that he could relate to.
I am most thankful to the pastor who assured me that my father accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior before he died. That was the most important thing to me and was comforted with that knowledge. Like the pastor said, "Roland Hayes may have been a great barber, a great tailor, a womanizer, alcoholic - but in the end the greatest thing he did was accept Jesus as his Saviour. And just like the thief on the cross, Jesus accepted him.
Thank you Lord!
Amen
You know the most amazing part is that he wasn't my biological father, but he was the only dad I'd ever known. He never mentioned to me that he wasn't my biological father and never acted like he wasn't. But when my mother told me when I was 12 yrs old that he wasn't my real father, something in me changed. I often wonder why she ever told me or why she didn't tell me sooner.
Anyway...
I loved my dad. He taught me an appreciation for the finer things in life. He is the one who taught me my gemstones. He would give me things like sterling silver earrings and bangles, ruby stud earrings (probably not real, but hey who knows) a black onyx ring with diamonds down the center for my 16th birthday.
He taught me how to ride a bike, an appreciation for music and art and he taught me how to be a lady. I ran into my old next door neighbor a few months ago and we laughed as he reminded me how I couldn't come off my steps until I was 14! lolol. And I couldn't even sit on nobody else's steps either.
The last time I called my dad, he was eating (thru a tube) and told me to call him back. I never called him back. I wanted to ask him if he remembered the time he taught me how to swim...
I was about 6 yrs old and we were at "family swim" at Awbury. My dad could swim really well and he would swim around the 9 feet with me on his back. So, after swimming with me on his back for some time, he decided that I could swim in the 9 feet all by myself. So, as we stood on the deck of the 9 feet, he said to me "Now I'm gonna throw you in the 9 feet and I want you to swim over to the 3 feet." I looked at him like he was crazy as I shook my head no and said "no". He said "yes". I said "I can't". He said "Yes you can" I said "no I can't". Next thing I knew he had picked me up and threw me in the 9 feet! So, I swam for my life. Under water, above water, doggy paddled, dodging all the other people who were in the pool. No one knew that I was swimming for my life except for me. So when I finally got to the three feet where I could stand up with my head above water, I turned to the deck to tell my dad I had made it. But guess what? Yup, he was standing right there beside me and had been right beside me the whole time! Did I really think he would throw me in and leave me all alone? lol.
I wanted to remember that with him. And I wanted to tell him that he had taught me a very important lesson...probably the most valuable lesson of all. I wanted to tell him that during the time I had ostracized myself from everyone and I was all alone trying to deal with all the obstacles that life had thrown me at one time, when I finally looked up I realized the God had been there through it all. He had never left me. And when he wasn't walking beside me, he was carrying me...Just like "Footprints in the Sand" says.
I never got a chance to share that with my dad. That would have been the first time that we'd ever talked about God. I wasn't really sure whether or not he believed in God or not and I wanted to share something with him that he could relate to.
I am most thankful to the pastor who assured me that my father accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior before he died. That was the most important thing to me and was comforted with that knowledge. Like the pastor said, "Roland Hayes may have been a great barber, a great tailor, a womanizer, alcoholic - but in the end the greatest thing he did was accept Jesus as his Saviour. And just like the thief on the cross, Jesus accepted him.
Thank you Lord!
Amen
Thursday, June 17, 2010
A bit frazzled.
That's how I feel right now...a little frazzled.
But I'll be alright in a few ticks.
Just taking it all in and digesting...
But I'll be alright in a few ticks.
Just taking it all in and digesting...
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Still on my journey
"Come on now. Pull yourself together. People die every day. Everybody's gonna die one day...even me. Now, pull it together. You wasn't that close to her anyhow. Life goes on. Now. Get it together and go in there and take that test and do your best."
That was my very first lesson about death. Those were the words my mother said to me the day my dad's mom died from breast cancer. I was in the 8th grade and was going to take an entrance exam to get into Cecilian Academy that morning when my mother got the call that "Nanny" had died. I just took it as she said because she was my mom and at that point whatever she said was it. So I went on and took the test and failed - (I didn't want to go to that school anyway), And just like my mom said, life continued to go on.
As we prepare to bury my father this Friday, these words come to mind again...some 30 years later.
And the journey continues......
That was my very first lesson about death. Those were the words my mother said to me the day my dad's mom died from breast cancer. I was in the 8th grade and was going to take an entrance exam to get into Cecilian Academy that morning when my mother got the call that "Nanny" had died. I just took it as she said because she was my mom and at that point whatever she said was it. So I went on and took the test and failed - (I didn't want to go to that school anyway), And just like my mom said, life continued to go on.
As we prepare to bury my father this Friday, these words come to mind again...some 30 years later.
And the journey continues......
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The Journey Continues...
And the mission continually unfolds before my very eyes. Sometimes I wonder what I am doing; why I am doing it and what difference does it make anyway? One thing that I know is true...I am at the very place I am supposed to be at this particular moment in time.
Wow! It's been a while since I've written anything here.
We definitely have to catch up.
Wow! It's been a while since I've written anything here.
We definitely have to catch up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)